Margie Ward Shirley - Autobiography

Parents, Siblings and Home. I was born to Eberhardt Welton Ward and Wilhemina Catherine Smith, on September 14, 1921. This was a second marriage for my mother. She had one daughter by her first marriage. It was the first marriage for my father. My older sister's name was Rayola.

Dad had gone on a mission to Denver, Colorado earlier and mother had Rayola, then she and her first husband divorced. She met Dad through her sister, Aunt Mable, who was teaching school, who was living in Riverside.

Dad was born on a Washakie Indian Reservation. My Grandfather was in charge of Indian affairs and was also a Bishop on the reservation. That is where my dad spent his childhood. They moved from there to the little town of Riverside, Utah.

Siblings. Rayola was my oldest sister. I had two brothers and one sister older than I. Verl and the one sister, Mary, had died when they were very small. Verl died from diphtheria and because the disease was so contagious that they could not have a funeral for him, so they had to put him in a little casket and just go bury him. Mary was only nine months old when she died of whooping cough. Mother didn't talk much about Mary. I had two brothers younger, Smith and Paul. Welton was the oldest boy with Rayola as a half-sister. (Scott's Notes: Mom said that people often told her mother that Margie was a replacement for Mary. Her mother would say, "No, she is not." The effect of being abandoned by a husband, losing little Mary, and not even having a chance to have a funeral for Verl must have been devastating. Mom said that Grandma would often walk down the road and out to the cemetery alone.)

Home. Life in the house during the depression days, food and work were scarce, but mother was resourceful. She would do sewing for other people. We had a cow and used to make butter and sell it wherever we could get any income is where we got it. We never went hungry, but we had some skinny meals. I always thought it would be great to have a tuna fish sandwich to take with me to school but mostly I had jelly sandwiches or else a hard fried egg sandwich wrapped in newspaper. We didn't have waxed paper. I would open my little lunch wrapped in newspaper and there was some of the print on my sandwich. So I digested the news.

My mom would pull me aside whenever we had chicken or whatever we had and would say, "now you just take one piece and leave the rest for the little boys." They were always called the "little boys." They came first. She would always tell me to be the peacemaker and not make a fuss. "Take one and leave the rest for the little boys," but she did the best she could. She had a hard row to hoe.

We had no indoor plumbing. My dad had a tobacco problem and he would go out and sit in the outside john and smoke, but he would never smoke in front of us kids. You could smell the fumes coming out of the john. We bathed in one of the old round tin tubs on Saturday night. Water was heated and because I was a girl I got to bathe first before the dirty boys. We had to get chairs and blankets over them to have any privacy. We bathed once a week, and we needed it, believe me.

Parent's Occupations. Dad was a plain laborer. He had no education to have a career. We had a neighbor who was in charge of the road crew in Box Elder County, and whenever he could he would give Dad a job as a day-laborer.

Mother was a beautiful seamstress. She could make something out of practically nothing, because of necessity. That was how she made her living after divorcing her first husband until she was married to Dad.

Parent's Marriage. When Mother was first married, both of them were very young. He went to California and was going to send for her, but never got around to it. He got work, but forgot to send for her. His name was Hokanson.

Dad was a great scriptorian. He served as ward clerk for many years and was a great penman. He also had a good singing voice. For a time Mother was ward organist and Dad led the singing for a few years. They put him in the bishopric for a short period but the tobacco thing got him released from that before very long.

Family Ties. I was not very close to any of my brothers and sisters. I think it was because they were boys and didn't give a hoot about me, I don't know. I was never close to any of them in the way that I would confide in them, or be buddies or anything like that. I was kind of a loner.

School Life. I started school in Riverside, a little two-room schoolhouse with all eight grades in it. One of my earliest teachers was Edith Olson. She was a really good teacher. Then they consolidated our school with the Garland School where I attended from the fifth to eighth grades. Then I attended Bear River High, where I graduated in 1939.

Reading and English were my favorite subjects, along with some math. I don't know if I was good at those subjects, it was just that I liked them. I hated history and I hated geography.

We lived on a corner, and across the street from us lived my cousin Amanda Ward. Across the street from her lived another friend, Nola Jensen. We were all the same age and in the same class. They were the ones I mostly palled around with. At times, Nola would cozy up to Nola and tend to leave me out. Sometimes I tagged along with them, and sometimes they would sneak around without me.

Time for Play. In the winter we used to walk about a mile east of our house down to the river bottoms and ice skate on what was called Fanny's Pond. We also used to go for hikes up on the foothills about another mile or mile and a half west of our place. We would hike up to the maple trees where the freeway is now.

Working. In high school, in the summers, I did housework for a lady. I worked from Mondays through Saturdays, from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m., and made $3.50 a week.

Dating. One of my biggest concerns was having a date to go to the school functions. I was not really very popular, so I was concerned about it. Most of the time I didn't like who asked me out. I was too fussy. I used to hear that I was too "picky."

Hobbies. I liked to read a lot. I was also in 4-H clubs learning about cooking. I used to participate in a lot of plays in Mutual and was in three or four of them.

Courtship and Marriage. I was working at Utah General Depot during WWII and I lived in an apartment right next door. I was doing bookkeeping-type work and payrolls. Ross' sister, Sarah, lived in an apartment next door to my apartment, and she also worked in the same office where I worked. Ross came home on furlough before being shipped out. Sarah arranged a blind date. That's how we first met.

We had two or three dates, maybe two or three and then he was shipped overseas. We wrote back and forth while he was overseas. Seriously, I didn't think much would come of it. When he came back we got together.

Knowing your dad, there wasn't a whole lot of romance involved in asking me to marry him. While he was overseas, he went to Japan and brought back some Japanese silk and gave it to me, and Mother made my wedding dress. I was quite surprised when he popped the question. My mother was quite happy. She thought I was going to be an old maid because I was about 25 years old. On the other hand, I was not worried about being an old maid. I didn't give a hoot.

We didn't have a reception. We left right after the ceremony and went to Salt Lake the first night, then on down to San Francisco where Sarah and Howard Lund were living. We honeymooned in and around San Francisco.

I'm not sure what attracted me to Ross other than he was a nice guy and was fun to be with. He was an all-around nice person. Unlike the books and movies there were not magic bells and whistles. It seemed like what I ought to do, so I did.

At that particular time in WWII, it was particularly hard to get temple garments. There was a real shortage of material to make them out of, both during the war and after. We didn't know whether we were going to be able to go to the temple and be married because of lack of garments. We scrounged around and were able to get some underwear so we could go to the temple. Grandma Shirley said she would help round up some garments if we needed help, but I was able to get some down where I lived. There was a limited amount they had on sale, along with a lot of other stuff that was scarce at the time, which was just about everything.

After the honeymoon I soon discovered that hunting and fishing came first and I kind of took a back seat to those two. Other than that there was no problem. I figured he deserved to go hunting and fishing. He made a good living so I felt I shouldn't object to that. Of course, when you have to take a back seat it rankles you a bit.

Dad was always pretty easy to get along with. He doesn't complain about any money that I spend, and he doesn't complain about the meals. I was not the world's best cook but he didn't ever complain. Maybe once or twice, but not very often did he ever complain about anything I ever did.

Dad was 34 and I was 25 when we got married. Dad was used to taking care of his own finances. For the longest time he didn't even have my name on the checking account. I had to keep nagging at him to get it changed so I could write checks. He didn't have anything against it, he just never thought about it. I wrote out the checks for the bills, did the shopping for groceries, etc. I was the bookkeeper.

In-laws. I got along with the Shirley's fine, but there was kind of a coolness for awhile. Ross was the last member of his family to get married, and the rest had been around and together for umteen years and so they were a little "clique'y" and I was the outsider. Grandma Shirley used to get provoked at me. She'd call and want me to go to Relief Society and if I'd say no, then she'd say, "Well, why not?" She could be a little sharp with me. But, we got along generally pretty good. I used to take her shopping to the store. And things weren't all bad. We had a few run-ins because, of course, Grandma had her favorite daughters-in-law. She had known Mary and Ethelyn and Clara for much longer. I just wasn't one of the group. Rod's wife was also there, which made a bunch of Shirleys in the Salem Ward.

We were married in May, and Rod's wife died in December of the same year. She was more my age and we got along great. She died giving birth to Nile. It was sad to see Rod with so many little kids, but her mom was there and helped with the children, and we helped when we could.

There wasn't any interaction at all between the Shirley and Ward sides of the family. My folks were clear down there and we were up here. There was no inter-mixing or anything like that. There didn't seem to be anything that stands out in my mind as being different between the two families.

Advice on Marriage. Avoid it at all cost. No, not really. I think talking, talk things out, discuss things. The only thing about your dad is that he just goes ahead and does. One time, when we were first married, he bought a gun and never said a word about it to me. Then Blair Calaway told me about it. He had bought a gun and hid it and never told me a thing about it. I've been mad about that for fifty years. I dislike people doing things behind my back. I think people should be out in the open with what they are doing. Hiding stuff: That doesn't go over too good. At least it doesn't go over with me, maybe someone with another disposition it would be alright. It upsets me when things are done behind my back.

You also have to have a lot of patience. Look for the good points. Forget about the bad points. Everybody is going to have something you don't like. Try not to look at that, but look at the good points.

I think the only time I got up enough gumption to say no was when we thought about moving out to Moses Lake, Washington. I'm not sure if that was the time or not, but there was only about once I really put my foot down. I think there was another time when he wanted to buy a motorized hang-glider. I said absolutely not. I got quite wrathy about that. It might have been alright, but I just didn't feel good about it. I hope your dad is too old to be going out hang-gliding. (Scott's Notes: Dad and I were very excited about hang-gliders. I was married at the time. We went over to the airport to look at one. Mom was not happy. The project never happened.)

Dad had purchased 200 acres out in Moses Lake, which was just sage brush. We made some trips out there and stayed with the Calaways to clear sage brush and what have you. We were supposedly going to move out there. I don't know how come it worked out so we didn't, but thank goodness we didn't. I don't think any of you kids would be doing what you are now if we had made that move. I'm glad we didn't go. It was a good thing not to do.

Spouses for the Kids. I think some people hate to give their kids up. You wonder if so-and-so is going to be alright and make a fine enough wife or a fine enough husband and I've had some misgivings, but my goodness, I've certainly had to eat them. I think the thing was I didn't know some of the girls as well as I could have done to know what lovely people they are. I think that is the reason I could have had some doubts, but I didn't have very many, nothing serious, just wondering, gee whiz, I wonder if this is going to work out, and it has. I wouldn't trade any of my daughters-in-law or son-in-law for anyone in the world. When Ard comes and tells us how he likes to visit and be with us, you can't very well dispute that, now can you?

When my kids were just little, my mother old me one time, "Now, you're welcome to come down and visit, but you can't bring the kids and stay overnight." I thought, "Ohhh...kay, by golly, my kids are always going to be welcome, and my grandkids are going to be welcome, and I'm going to make them feel welcome to the best of my ability." And they will be welcome. I'm just happy to have them come. I'm tickled to death that they feel like they like to come, so I try to make things pleasant for them so they'll feel like they like to come and visit. I've heard several of the grandkids talk about the little Sunday visits we have and it tickles me to hear them say they like those. That really makes me feel good. I hope they'll always feel that way.

I don't have any other thoughts on marriage, other than I don't think I'll go into it again. Hopefully! I hope re-marriage is not an option at my age.

Religion. I was blessed by my father on November 6, 1921. My dad was ward clerk at the time and made out the certificate himself. The bishop signed it, then he signed it as Ward Clerk.

I was baptized on my birthday, September 14, 1929 by my dad. We went up to Udy Hot Springs where everybody swam. Nobody else was in the pool and so I was baptized and was indignant because I couldn't stay and swim after my baptism. That afternoon we had a birthday party. Udy Hot Springs was up by Plymouth, by the freeway.

Church. There was a basement in our church house and there was a long, dark hallway with classrooms on either side with no lights. I can still remember going down that long dark hallway with no lights on and that was pretty scary.

The old church house in Riverside had a balcony and we'd go to mutual and there was a program about 9:00 p.m. that was very popular on the radio. All we wanted to do was go home and listen to that. So, when it got to be about the time for us to "skizzy" home and hear our program, we'd get up and leave the class, which was held up in the balcony. I'm not very proud of that, but that is what we did. The program was something about "The Shadow, The Shadow Knows," or something like that.

One time a few friends and I decided to sit up in the balcony rather than sit down in the congregation for Sacrament Meeting. After opening exercises the bishop asked if we would come down so that they didn't have to pass the sacrament up in the balcony. I was very embarrassed.

Sunday School was at ten in the morning. Sacrament Meeting was at about seven in the evening. Sometimes, when Dad couldn't go, I'd have to go and take the minutes of what went on in the meeting.

Each of the ladies in the ward had to take their turn taking care of the sacrament. That meant she would bring home the sacrament trays and we would have to wash them. It was my job to dry them. They were small glass cups. We didn't have plastic in those days. They were about the same size as the ones we have now. Then we would take them back to the next meeting.

Callings. When I was in high school I was the organist for a few years in Sunday School, on an old pump organ. I took music lessons and all we had was that pump organ. I was highly indignant, but I took enough lessons that I knew how to play, at the insistence of my mother. Welton played the sax, but none of the other kids played instruments. Mother played the organ in church and Dad was a good singer and lead the singing.

I also taught Sunday School when I was in high school. After we were married I was a counselor in the primary. I was called to work on the primary stake board. Then I was coordinator of the Jr. Sunday School. Then I was called to be the Stake Coordinator of the Jr. Sunday School. I did not like the Stake jobs. I had what you might call an inferiority complex or whatever you call that and I felt very uncomfortable on the Stake Board jobs. I'm not a leader, I'm a follower. I was glad when I was released from that. I was organist in the Relief Society for awhile and a secretary also.

We spent all our married lives in the Salem Ward, then after the flood we moved to the Wilford Ward by St. Anthony. Then they divided the Wilford Ward and we became the Second Ward, and I was issued the very first temple recommend out of the Wilford jSecond Ward.

My favorite job in the church was teaching the little kids in Primary and Jr. Sunday School. I was called to teach in Young Women's, but I enjoyed teaching the little kids much more.

Temple. The first time I went to the temple was to get married. We were asked to be the witness couple that day and we didn't know what we were doing. At that time there was a long stairway leading up. We were the only couple there that particular day. They called us up first. We started up and I had a long wedding dress on and hadn't held it up in front, so I walked up the front of my dress and got all tangled up. I remember looking back at all those faces looking up at what we were doing. I was so embarrassed.

Not too much of the Temple ceremony sunk in that day. It was all so new and strange and what have you. We were all nervous and everything. Les had told Dad to remember everything and he was nervous because he couldn't remember it all. Brother Christiansen performed the ceremony. He gave us a real nice talking-to before we were married.

I was called to work as an ordainance worker on August 17, 1983, and worked until July 26, 1996. I liked that. For awhile, Dad and I had the lead parts. I thought that was great and got quite teary about it but it was quite an enjoyable experience.

Missions. Sending sons on missions was something else. I was glad that they were worthy to go. But you hate to see your kids climbing on planes, flying off to a foreign country. Of course we had to shed a few tears. For a long time I didn't go to church because I didn't want to sing, "Till We Meet Again." It would just get me where I live, so I didn't try to sing that for a long time. I don't think I ever doubted that they would be all right. Neal and Dale went to Brazil and Scott went to Guatemala. It wasn't like they were close to home. I never worried while they were gone. I probably should have done but I just felt that they would be taken care of and be all right. But I was glad when they got back home.

Patriarchal Blessing. My Patriarchal Blessing was important to me. They blessed me that every organ of my body would work the way it should. I feel that I have really been blessed in that respect because I really have enjoyed good health. That is one of the main things that stuck out in my mind about my Patriarchal Blessing.

Testimony. In thinking about how or when I got my testimony, it's something I've never really thought about. I've just always known that the church was true, and I can't remember when I didn't. It's just something I've had instilled in me all my life. I really don't think my testimony has ever been tested. It has just been something that I figured was, and is. I don't think I've ever had any occassion to doubt anything at all.